


Can't Find My Way Home, There is No Place to Hide

by racheesi



Series: The Best of What's Around-Verse [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF, The Rain (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Animal Death, Corruption, F/M, Found Family, Gun Violence, Like they just, M/M, Minor Character Death, evil Ian Cole, evil lots of other people, find people and boom they're family, literally found family, we found love in a hopeless place and safety in a dumpster behind walgreens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 19:08:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/racheesi/pseuds/racheesi
Summary: After The Rain poisons the world, military medic Alexander Kerfoot and his friend, Captain Gabriel Landeskog, try to keep order and help the people who are left in Colorado. When they find, however, that the motives of their superiors are less pure, they take their family and go on the run, trying to survive and extending their family along the way.[[A Post-Apocalyptic AU very loosely based on The Rain TV show from Netflix, but you don't have to have watched the show to understand this fic]]
Relationships: Gabriel Landeskog/Mel Shouldice, Tyson Jost/Alexander Kerfoot
Series: The Best of What's Around-Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539802
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	Can't Find My Way Home, There is No Place to Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Dave Matthews Band's "The Dreaming Tree"
> 
> If you found this fic by googling your name, turn away. This is 100% fiction.
> 
> Please read the tags for any content warnings, but I want to reiterate that there IS an animal death in this (it's NOT Zoey) so be warned for that.
> 
> This is one of three planned prequels to "(If Nothing Can Be Done) We'll Make the Best of What's Around". You don't have to have read it for this to make sense, but it can't hurt. There will probably also be some sequels, and I'm down to take any requests in this universe. I'm really enjoying writing it.

When The Rain first came down, Alexander was teaching a field training and first aid course to a few of his coworkers. This class saved their lives in more ways than one. They were some of the few who were indoors when the poisoned rain started coming down. And they  _ stayed _ inside; the base was on lockdown almost immediately. Alexander’s friend, Captain Gabriel Landeskog, was in his class at the time and, as it turns out, was the highest-ranked officer on the base when the rain hit. 

Kerf wouldn’t be able to say it to him until later, but Gabe’s quiet efficiency saved their lives. Every cell in his body felt like it was vibrating in anxiety. The phones went down not long after, when everyone was trying to get in touch with their families. Alexander was very nearly one of the few who tried to riot against Gabe when he expressly forbade anyone from going  _ near _ the garage. 

In hindsight, Alexander should have known that it was killing Gabe not to be able to check on Mel the same way it was killing Alexander to not know if Tyson was okay. Hell, Tyson had plans to work on the  _ garden _ at Mel and Gabe’s place. The garden. Which was _outside_. 

The same 'outside' that was currently  _ killing people _ . 

Despite feeling the cold fist of guilt closing around his throat, Alexander helped Gabe organize everyone into groups, quarantine those who were outside and didn’t die immediately (a move that later saved all their lives), and get in touch with any superior they could talk to via walkie-talkie and satellite phones to try and come up with a plan.

It didn’t take long before they were ordered to secure borders; Colorado was on complete lockdown. They didn’t even know how things were going down in other states. There was honestly very little information about  _ anything _ . The lack of information was so frustrating to Alexander, who had spent his life studying and learning everything he could about  _ anything _ he could. Nobody seemed to have any information about the rain itself- or whatever sickness it carried. Nearly everything Alexander learned, he learned from gruesome, sickening experience over the following weeks. If you weren’t killed by the water immediately, you were infected and dead within four hours. Every time. The only way to get safe water was to boil it. Traveling in rainstorms were a death sentence, but those storms also infected the lakes, rivers, and ponds. There wasn’t anything to do for those who were dying. The lucky ones died immediately. The unlucky ones, suffering over those four hours, presented with frothy salivation, subconjunctival hemorrhaging, acute cramping pain, and convulsive seizures before succumbing. 

When they had to move to a new base closer to the border in order to help secure it, some of the higher-ranked officers were lucky and were allowed to bring their families with them– if they had any families left. Alexander was  _ extremely _ lucky that his boyfriend was the cousin of Captain Landeskog’s wife. Tyson was living with Mel and Gabe in one of the empty houses they’d appropriated in Fort Collins so they could patrol the border and enforce the statewide quarantine. Alexander visited as much as he could, but he still technically lived in barracks with the other lower-ranking soldiers in their unit. He liked being at the Landeskog’s home. There, he could curl around Tyson in the small room that used to belong to some teenager who loved nothing more than the Rockies. He could bury his face in Tyson’s curls and just breathe and pretend the world wasn’t falling to pieces around them. Like it hadn’t  _ already _ fallen to pieces around them. The barracks were cold, stifling, like slowly suffocating under the weight of everyone’s fears and expectations. They fed off of each others’ emotions; rage, fear, and despair all spread just as quickly as the virus carried by the rain.

They were as organized as they could be, but even the military couldn’t perform miracles when the world fell to shit like this. They combined forces: Army, Air Force, Navy. Everyone was just one group now. Most kept their old ranks, but even that was a little bit chaotic. People left, deserted all the time. Others joined up, travelers trading their freedom for a hot meal and a spot in the barracks. Their gratitude toward some of the leaders was concerning to Alexander. They spoke of squad leaders in an almost religious awe. He was grateful for Gabe, sure. Gabe was family. But the kind of blind, almost manic loyalty he saw in some of his bunkmates to their own squad leaders made a heavy unease work its way into his chest.

* * *

It was Wednesday and Alexander was at the Landeskog’s for dinner. They were having spiced beans and pickled vegetables over warm, fluffy rice. Mel was incredible at making their small rations last, and she made them a lot more palatable than if Kerf had been left to his own devices. The meal was quiet. Mel and Tyson had spent the day organizing a clothing drive among some of the other officers’ spouses. Gabe and Alexander were working to gather medical supplies for the makeshift hospital on base. They’d been sent to a small, abandoned hospice facility to scavenge for supplies. Most of the provisions had already been picked over, but they found some supplies Alexander could use. But the experience would haunt him. The overwhelming, sickening smell of those patients who had been left by their caregivers after the rain, unable to help themselves when the selfishness of others took precedence. Gabe and Alexander’s squad stayed an extra 5 hours to bury the bodies. His whole body was sore from helping to dig nearly a dozen graves, but at least those souls were at peace. 

After they ate, Alexander and Josty cleaned up and left the Landeskogs to talk in the dining room. “You think it’s always gonna be like this?” Josty said quietly, dipping the plates into the soapy bucket of purified water. Kerf smiled fondly at him, leaning over and kissing his temple.

“I think it’ll get better, babe,” Kerf said, though he wasn’t sure if he’d meant it. People were getting more and more desperate. It wasn’t hard to see. But Tyson was always so cheerful and optimistic. Alexander wanted to foster that. The world needed that. Alexander needed that. 

As they finished up the dishes, Alexander took Josty’s hand in his and they headed back into the dining room. Maybe Gabe and Mel wanted to play cards or something before Alexander had to head back to base. However, when they came into the room, Gabe and Mel were talking heatedly, heads together. Gabe looked concerned. Mel looked downright  _ pissed _ . 

“Everything okay?” Tyson asked, squeezing Alexander’s hand.

“Yes,” Gabe bit out.

“No,” Mel hissed at the same time.

Gabe sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and slumping down in his seat. “I’m just…. I’m worried. About the uh… about what they’re doing.”

“They?” Alexander questioned, sinking into the chair across from Gabe. 

“Your bosses,” Mel said, spitting the words out as if they disgusted her.

Tyson hummed, curious, and Gabe looked around the room.

“This does  _ not _ leave this house,” Gabe said darkly.

Everyone nodded their agreement. 

“They’ve been getting new... things,” Gabe continued. “The other officers. Things that… I mean there’s no proof or anything but…”

“Things?” Kerf prompted slowly, still confused and waiting for whatever Gabe was saying to click.

“Food,” Mel spat. “Clothes. Weapons. Luxuries.”

Alexander blinked for a moment, letting that settle in, then lowered his voice. “You think they’re  _ stealing _ it? Like from civilians?” 

Gabe leaned forward, elbows resting on the table and he scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know. I didn’t _want_ to think it but…”

“Tell them what you heard,” Mel said, voice firm and scowl dark. 

Gabe let out a shaking sigh, pressing the heel of his hands against his eyes. “I overheard Commander Cole and some new recruit. I was getting a soap ration for one of my new guys and Cole had the kid against a wall with his arm over his throat. Said that as long as he didn’t tell anyone, and he helped get rid of the evidence, then he’d get a share.” 

Josty shifted in his seat. “That could be anything, though, right?” But even Tyson’s optimistic disposition didn’t sound too sure.

Alexander bit his lip as a memory came back to him. “One of Cole’s guys in my barracks… Van? Evander? I think they called him Van… um… he had a really nice watch. Like…  _ really _ nice. Rolex or something. He was showing it off the other day…” 

Mel turned to Gabe, as if to say _'See?' _

Gabe gave a full-body sigh, and nodded. “Just… we don’t have proof or anything, okay? We don’t know for  _ sure _ . So just… be aware. And be careful.” 

Alexander reached over and squeezed Tyson’s hand tight before nodding. 

* * *

The more Alexander watched over the next two weeks, the more it seemed like the corruption ran really, really deep. He could kick himself for not having paid attention before, or not close enough. Sometimes, the guys would come back to the barracks with far more than what rations would reasonably allow, and stories of death and… other horrible things. Things they’d “seen” but talked about with such an air of bragging that it seemed like they’d done it themselves. And, Alexander was starting to realize, maybe they had. 

And then, they got sent on an all-day supply run and “security check” to Boulder and back. Kerf was assigned to Gabe’s unit as the field medic, and Gabe’s unit was then paired with Commander Cole’s crew. Gabe was serious, focused, ready to do his job and come back home. His unit was the same. Although he was frequently assigned to Gabe's unit as a field medic, Kerf didn’t really know the unit that well. On the whole, he tended to float between whatever units needed him in the field, but they seemed like good guys. Focused as he was, Alexander could tell Gabe was also thinking of something else. Worrying about something else.

Cole’s guys were raucous, shivering with a sick excitement. “Lots of rich fuckers in Boulder,” one was saying. “Probably tons of food. We’re gonna be eating well tonight, boys.” 

Alexander felt a sick sort of feeling settle in the pit of his stomach. He tried to catch Gabe’s eye, but his Captain was doing a final check on all the equipment. They crammed into two humvees and headed out to Boulder. 

Alexander was in the back of Gabe’s humvee, double-checking his own equipment. Captains and commanders were in charge of general gear, but Alexander was responsible for any medical equipment he needed above and beyond that. 

Forty-five minutes into the journey they pulled off the main road, too early to be at Boulder, but following some planned route nonetheless. Gabe still looked worried, and Alexander felt himself shiver. 

Finally, they pulled into a drugstore parking lot. Some Walgreens that looked like it hadn’t been hit by looters yet. Alexander put his worries aside for the jump of hope he felt at the idea of more supplies to help people. They’d been getting a lot more civilians at the makeshift hospital near their new base, everything from sprained ankles to chest infections. Maybe the pharmacy would have some antibiotics he could use.

“Alright, fellas. Gabe’s gonna lead this stock run. My crew handles security,” Cole’s voice rang out over their walkies.

Alexander waited patiently while Cole’s crew opened and secured the Walgreens, coming back out and waving them in. Gabe tossed the keys to Alexander, who locked up the vehicle and followed everyone else inside. It was  _ beautiful _ . Somehow, in the weeks since the rain, this place seemed nearly untouched, pristine. The shelves were stocked, it smelled  _ clean _ , if a little dusty. There must have been a generator or something, he could hear the hum of the fridges, stocked with every colour of Gatorade he’d been missing. He was half-expecting to hear elevator music coming from the speakers, as though life was still like it was before. The others headed straight for the food, but Alexander went to medical supplies and the pharmacy. It was practically untouched. This was a goldmine. He grabbed half a dozen linen tote bags from the register and methodically worked his way through the pharmacy, then the over the counter stuff. There was so much they could use. Antibiotics, inhalers, allergy meds, he even grabbed some diva cups for some of the folks that he knew were worried about running low on tampons and pads. 

He filled all six bags, then two more Gabe brought over. They brought them back out to the humvee together, while the other guys were bringing in their first load of food. The other guys went back into the Walgreens and Gabe and Kerfoot followed, but as soon as they got inside, Gabe led him by the elbow toward the back door out by the pharmacy. They went back outside, hidden from view of the parking lot by a dumpster.

“Something’s wrong,” Gabe whispered frantically.

Kerf tilted his head, confused. 

Gabe ran his hand through his hair, looking like his shoulders were a little too heavy. 

“I told Brigadier Roy about… about what we talked about.”

“And he said…” Kerf prompted quietly.

Gabe looked like he was going to be sick. “He said he’d take care of it... and now we’re on this mission. Something doesn’t seem right.”

“Shit you think Brigadier Roy is in on it?”

Gabe looked like it was a struggle to shrug, but Kerf got the idea. 

Kerf was about to speak again, but Gabe held up a hand and it took a moment to realize why. The chatter of the guys outside of the building stopped. The only thing that could be heard was the chirping of some birds. Gabe peered around the dumpster and swore. 

“Get in,” Gabe said, literally pushing Alexander to the dumpster as he unholstered his gun. “That’s an order. You stay until I come get you.”

He wasn’t about to disobey a direct order from Gabe but it wasn’t without question. He raised his eyebrows as Gabe literally shut the dumpster lid on top of him. Thank god it was mostly empty. It reeked, but it was bearable. Kerf wasn’t as well-trained on weaponry as everyone else. He was armed, yeah, but he wasn’t skilled. He was a medic. He tended to do the patching-up part, not the shooting-at-things part. 

He took his pistol out of its holster anyway. 

It was seconds later he heard the popping sounds. It was muffled, but it was definitely gunfire. He stayed in the dumpster, trying to control his breathing. It had been years since his last panic attack. This was a hell of a time for it, now. His vision got spotty and he pressed a hand to his chest. It was dark, but he could make out some things around him. He slid down and counted everything around him. One, two, three trash bags. One shipping box, flattened.  _ That should be in recycling _ , he briefly thought, then let out a manic giggle, muffled by the gunshots. 

Fuck.

What if Gabe died? 

Mel would never forgive him. 

Hell, Mel would be turned out of the house, probably. And Tyson.

They might even get killed, too.

“We can’t find the other keys!” One of the guys in Cole’s unit said.

“They got three of our guys!” another said.

“Leave them! And the truck. We’ve got enough food in this one. We'll grab the rest on the way back. Main target is still Boulder. Let’s go!” He heard Cole shout.

The tips of Alexander’s fingers tingled and he tried to count in and out and control his breathing as tears prickled at his eyes. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in the dumpster, trying to convince himself he wasn’t dead or dying. But when he got out and looked at his watch, it hadn’t been long at all. He was still running on adrenaline, though he knew his body would crash soon. His attacks always exhausted him.

He ran into the Walgreens.

There was blood everywhere. Broken glass. Bullet holes. Bodies.

This was a fucking war zone.

Alexander bit down a sob and looked at the bodies. He recognized most of Gabe’s unit. Jeff and Andrei and Ed. He checked each of their pulses. All gone. They’d fought back, though. Varlamov, one of Cole’s men was by the door, still holding onto his semiautomatic, eyes glassy as he looked up at the ceiling. A bullet had torn through his hand, another through his throat. He saw a few of Cole’s other guys. Van, with his shiny new watch, was down next to the Gatorade fridge. Facedown near him were Drew and Max. 

He heard a groan.

This time, Alexander  _ did _ sob. “Gabe,” he breathed, running in the direction of the sound.

It was harder than usual to find the calm that came so easy to him with his job. But he forced himself into it. There’d be time to lose it later. 

Gabe was trying to sit up, groaning in the process, his side bloodied. 

“Lie the fucking fuck down you motherfucking piece of fucking self-sacrificing fuckery,” Alexander hissed, voice wavering as he tried to assess the damage.

“Aww, Kerfy,” Gabe said, smirking weakly. “You care.”

“I hate you,” Kerf sniffed, not even meaning it a little bit. There were two bullet holes in the front of Gabe’s jacket, and a gash in his side. Luckily the damned fool had the sense to go down in the fucking first aid aisle. Kerf grabbed a pair of scissors to cut the jacket away. 

Gabe had been wearing a kevlar vest.

“I suspected,” Gabe said quietly, looking more heartbroken than anything. He tried to get up again. Alexander forced him back down.

“Try that one more time and no vest will save you from me,” Alexander said without any heat. 

The first two bullets hit the vest. He took it off carefully. Gabe probably had a broken rib or two. But that didn’t explain the blood. 

He cut off Gabe’s tee shirt carefully. Definitely some broken ribs. And a third bullet, it seems, grazed him just under the vest. It wasn’t a bad graze, but bad enough that it was bleeding quite a bit and definitely needed to be dressed. 

Alexander got to work on the bleeding wound first, getting it dressed as well as he could with the tools he had. Then he inspected Gabe’s ribs a little better. It wasn’t great. Not at all. But they’d have to make do. He taped Gabe up as best as he could, before grabbing a t-shirt from a nearby display rack. It was neon orange, with bright blue lettering declaring  _ ‘Someone in Colorado Loves Me!!!’  _ and a disproportionately large number of heart emojis. He helped Gabe into the shirt. 

He still looked handsome in it.

Rude.

Once they’d gotten Gabe’s jacket back on, Alexander grabbed the kevlar vest, as well as any other supplies he could grab on his way out that weren’t destroyed in the gunfight. As much as he hated it, he also took the guns and gear off of the bodies of Jeff, Andrei, Ed, and Cole's guys. He didn’t know them all that well, but it still seemed disrespectful. Maybe they could come back and bury them. Or a memorial. Something. He dug the keys from his pocket and unlocked the vehicle that Cole and his crew had abandoned. It had all the medical supplies and some food and camp gear. And a lot of empty space, now that three of their own were killed.

Alexander got behind the driver’s seat without consulting Gabe. Gabe slid in next to him, frowning.

“I should be driving,” he said quietly.

Alexander rolled his eyes. “You’re hurt. And you just lost like... all your guys. You’re allowed to just… process.” 

"Not all of them." Gabe mumbled. His eyes were shining and Alexander reached over to squeeze his hand. 

“What’s the plan, Cap?”

Gabe sighed. “We should… shit. I…”

Alexander waited patiently for Gabe to gather his thoughts.

Finally Gabe spoke again. “On the one hand, if it goes all the way up to Roy, I can’t trust that Mel and Tyson are safe.”

Alexander’s blood ran cold. He hadn’t thought of that.

“On the other hand,” Gabe continued. “I have the coordinates of the house they were going to hit. Some rich guy and his kid. The Barrie family. Own a whole bunch of camping gear stores. I guess they figure they’ll have lots of equipment.”

“Okay?” Alexander prompted. He didn’t see how this made that a priority over Tyson and Mel.

“Kerfy,” Gabe’s voice was patient, that slow timbre it got when he was trying to explain something obvious. “They’re innocent. And if Cole was willing to kill all of us…”

Alexander ran his hand down his face. Gabe was right. And they were closer to Boulder than Fort Collins anyway. 

Gabe directed Kerf to the house, and Kerf parked the humvee in an abandoned alley a few blocks away. It was hidden from sight from anyone coming down the main street. They loaded up with guns. Gabe insisted Kerf wear his old vest. He couldn’t lift his arms enough to put it back on. 

Kerf didn’t want to think about what that meant if shit went south. 

“I’m handy with a sniper rifle,” Gabe assured him softly. “I’ll be fine.” 

The house next to the Barrie’s was abandoned and Kerf helped get Gabe settled with his rifle in an upstairs bedroom when they saw Cole leading two men out of the house. Cole’s two remaining men, a young guy named Nick and an older guy, Mario, followed, smirking.

Shit. 

Kerf squeezed Gabe’s hand once, a quiet goodbye, if that’s what it ended up being, and he hurried downstairs. He had one handgun in his hands, another in his thigh holster. He was a fairly decent shot, but these guys had semiautomatic rifles and a lot more bloodlust.

Cole kicked the back of the older man’s legs until he knelt, holding his gun to the back of the man’s head. Both of them, the Barrie family, he assumed, were shouting that they didn’t have anything; Cole and his men had taken all they have.

Cole laughed, the sound was chilling, completely devoid of anything human. And shot the older man. 

Kerf had to look away. 

The younger man was sobbing.

Cole made him kneel, too, and, just as he lifted his arm, a gunshot rang out.

Cole toppled to the ground. 

_ Gabe _ .

The two men who had been behind Cole immediately looked around, trying to decipher where the shot came from. Alexander stepped out, shouting to the younger Barrie to get down on the ground.

He complied and Alexander shot one of Cole’s men- Mario. He went down immediately, though he still seemed to be alive. Nick looked confused to see Alexander, but raised his gun, ready to shoot. 

Another shot rang out and Alexander could see it travel through Nick’s head before he fell. He stepped forward, Mario was crawling to his gun. Alexander kicked it out of reach and took a slow, steadying breath, then shot the man in the head.

Then, he knelt on the ground and threw up everything he’d eaten in the last twelve hours. 

The other man was kneeling down, crying over the body of his father. Alexander holstered his gun and breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth, until the nausea passed, before he approached the guy.

“Are you hurt?” he asked quietly.

The man shook his head, crying openly. His nose was running, eyes were puffy, but he looked uninjured. 

Kerf took his hand and sat there with him for a few moments.

“They were sent here specifically,” Gabe said, and the man looked up, surprised that someone else was there. 

Gabe was pale, walking with difficulty, but Alexander knew that expression anywhere. He had a plan and it needed to be done  _ now _ . 

“Do you have anywhere else you can go? They will send more,” Gabe said to the man, who shook his head.

“What’s your name, then?” Alexander asked, squeezing the guy’s hand. 

“Tyson. Uh.. Barrie. Tyson Barrie,” he said. “I don’t- I don’t have anywhere else to go.” He reached up, trying to wipe his nose with the back of his hand. It just made a bigger mess. 

Gabe sighed, then looked around. “Okay, go inside and pack whatever you need to take with you. We… You can come with us. Alexander and I will get any salvageable gear from Cole’s vehicle and meet you here in five. We’ve gotta move fast.”

Barrie nodded, seemingly glad for a mission, a distraction. Alexander understood that. After the guy ran inside, Alexander turned to Gabe as they got guns and supplies from the bodies and Cole’s humvee. 

“We in a hurry or something?” he asked Gabe quietly.

Gabe bit his lip. “We have to get Mel and Tys out of Fort Collins. Before Roy realizes what happened.”

Alexander felt the nausea roll up in his stomach again. Fuck.

Barrie came out of that great big house with a backpack and nothing else. He wasn’t kidding when he said they had nothing. It was probably a good thing, Alexander thought. They’d probably be on the run for awhile. And the three of them, plus Mel, Tys, and Zoey in the car would be a tight fit with all the supplies they had taken . 

They piled into the car, Alexander stepping on the gas to get them to Fort Collins in record time while Gabe filled Tyson in on what happened, their connection to Cole and his crew, and why they were going to Fort Collins only to turn back around and speed in the other direction. They had enough in the tank to get Mel and Tyson if they got gas right after. They’d have to make that work. 

They got into town with no trouble, casually parking outside of Gabe and Mel’s place and strolling inside. As soon as the door was shut behind them, however, it was chaos. Gabe was frantically trying to explain to Mel, while Kerf dragged Jost to his room to get packed up. Kerf had enough of his shit left there that he didn’t need to go to base. He’d probably get shot if he tried, anyway. He packed his and Tyson’s clothes together, as well as whatever food would travel well, and a picture of Tyson’s mom and sister. Tyson looked a little frantic as he searched through his desk and Alexander knew exactly what he was looking for. 

“I’ve got you,” Alexander said, grabbing the photo frame from the top of his dresser. Grandpa Jost. Tyson had lost contact with his family after The Rain and he had always been close to them, especially his mother, sister, and grandfather. Hell, Alexander was, too. The Josts had practically adopted him as one of their own. The optimistic part of Alexander that Tyson had always been able to find and nurture in him thought there was some hope, maybe they were enjoying themselves in British Columbia, happy and untouched by the virus.

The part of Alexander that watched most of his unit get murdered today, the part that shot one of his friends’ murderers in the head today, thought it might be better if they weren’t alive to see this.

Tyson looked sadly at the room that had been his home since The Rain changed everything and Alexander reached out to pull him into a quick kiss. 

“We’re going to be okay. I love you. We’re going to be okay,” he said quietly.

Josty nodded, eyes wide and trusting. He believed Kerf. 

Kerf could only hope that his belief would be rewarded.

Barrie had washed his father’s blood from his hands in the meantime and was playing with Zoey while Mel packed up the last of the canned food rations they had stored in the house. 

“I’ll carry them outside,” Alexander said. “Gabe’s hurt.”

“Gabe is  _ what now _ ?!” Mel said spinning toward Gabe as Alexander brought the box out to the car. Both Tysons followed with Zoey. 

“What happened to Gabe?” Josty asked as they piled into the car. 

Alexander scowled as he got behind the wheel. “Roy was in on it. Gabe told him about Commander Cole and Roy sent us on a mission together. Cole cornered Gabe’s unit in a Walgreens on the way. Shot them all, save for me. Gabe suspected, so he had a vest, but he broke a couple ribs and has a nasty gash on his side.

Both Tysons’ eyes were wide.

“Babe?” Josty asked. “What about you?”

Alexander sighed. “Gabe made me go in the dumpster.”

It sounded so sullen, so pouty, that Josty laughed. It even got a small smile out of Barrie. Alexander was hit suddenly with how truly  _ grateful _ he was for Tyson Jost. He could find some sunshine in even the darkest of days. Without him, Alexander was sure he’d have lost it a long, long time ago. He reached back to squeeze Josty’s hand quickly.

“I love you, Tys,” he said quietly, catching Tyson’s eyes in the mirror.

Gabe and Mel slid into the car. Zoey climbed over Barrie’s lap to greet Mel as she got in the back, and Gabe got into the front seat, directing Alex immediately to the nearest gas station that was fairly quiet so they could fill up.

Leaving Fort Collins was surprisingly anticlimactic. They weren’t stopped, no matter how scared they were anytime they saw someone in uniform. They made it out alive. They drove past Denver, driving and driving until they had to stop at an abandoned rest station. Gabe and Alexander took shifts keeping watch while everyone else slept, sitting up in the car. 

* * *

It was 10am the next morning when they ran out of gas near a destroyed farm. They’d been looking for somewhere to fill up, but everywhere was empty. They pushed the humvee to the farm, about to go explore to see if it was abandoned when a man came out, pointing a rifle at them.

He was tall, with thick blond hair. He was missing a few teeth, but somehow handsome nonetheless. He was built, angry, and clearly ready to defend his property. Gabe started to take charge but Alexander had seen  _ enough _ of his captain getting shot for awhile. 

“Hey,” Alexander said, putting his body in front of Gabe’s and slowly walking toward the man, hands up in surrender. “We’re sorry. Our truck broke down and-”

“I told your people to get the  _ fuck _ off my property,” the man shouted, firing a warning shot a few feet in front of Alexander’s boots. He stopped moving forward. 

“Our people?” Alexander said, then looked down at his uniform. “Fuck. Right. Okay you have every right to want to shoot me for this, but just so you know, we’re not with them anymore. We’re uh…”

“…’You’re uh’  _ what _ ?” the man asked, mocking, raising his rifle just enough that Kerf knew if he said the wrong thing, he was dead.

“We’re on the run from them,” Alexander said quickly. “They were corrupt, we tried to bring it up to the bosses, they killed Gabe’s unit. And shot Gabe. That’s Gabe behind me. Say hi Gabe.”

“Hi Gabe,” Gabe said drily from behind him. Alexander rolled his eyes. 

The guy started to lower his rifle, and Zoey slipped her leash and went running right for the guy. For a moment, Alexander was terrified for her, but the guy put his gun down and accepted a face full of slobber from Gabe’s dog, rubbing her ears as she planted her front paws on him to get as much attention as possible. 

Everyone watched in silent shock until the man stood and opened the door to the farmhouse. 

“Well?” he shouted. “Get in, already. Can stay for a couple hours. It’s gonna to rain soon.”

Mel grabbed one of the bags of food from the humvee, mumbling something about at least making the man lunch for giving them temporary shelter. Alexander just hoped that he didn’t kill them and take their supplies, leaving their corpses to rot in that dilapidated, ugly farmhouse.

Admittedly, Alexander did not have a very optimistic outlook on humanity as a whole on that particularly fucktangular day. 

Alexander grabbed his med kit and waited for Josty to get out of the car, taking his hand as they walked into the house after Barrie.

He squeezed once, firm, as if to say  _ ‘I’ll keep you safe. No matter what, I’ll keep you safe. I love you.’ _

Josty squeezed back, a little softer, as if to say  _ ‘I know, dumbass.’ _ .

It was hard for Alexander to worry  _ too _ much after that. 

* * *

Mel set about making them lunch, working around the guy’s kitchen as if she’d been there for months, rather than a few minutes. She really was some kind of magician, honestly. Gabe tried to help, but she shooed him away. 

“You got shot today. If you don’t relax, so help me Gabriel…” she said. 

Gabe was a captain. One of the higher ranking officers they had left, but he knew when to listen to someone who outranked him.

Mel outranked everyone. 

Kerf led Gabe to a chair and helped him out of that godawful fluorescent tourist t-shirt to check on his work. He grabbed his med kit to change out the bandage when the tall guy cleared his throat.

“You a doc or something?” the guy said, gruff but curious. A lot less hostile than he’d been earlier. Though, it wasn’t a huge feat to be  _ less _ hostile than having a rifle pointed at someone else’s face. 

“Or something,” Kerfy confirmed, making sure the wound was good and clean before carefully putting another bandage over it. Best to be meticulous while he could. He didn’t know when he’d have his next chance. “I’m a medic. Or I was.”

“You still are,” Gabe said firmly. “Just because those fuckers decided greed was more important than their humanity, doesn’t mean your contributions to helping people are any less valid.”

Alexander huffed a little. 

“Does he always spout inspirational shit like that? Or is he just showing off?” the guy asked, sounding amused. 

“He does it all the time,” Alexander confirmed with a small smile.

“He doesn’t know how to turn it off,” Josty added. 

The guy hummed and stayed standing. “You know anything about animals?”

“Some,” Alexander said. “Not much. Why?”

“Your _people_,” he said sharply. At Gabe and Alexander’s twin glares, he amended himself reluctantly. “ _ Former _ people set fire to my fields and burnt down my barn when I wouldn’t give them what they wanted.”

“And you want me to look at a…”

“A horse,” the guy said, his voice wavering a little. 

Alexander frowned. He knew fuck-all about horses, but the guy was clearly upset. “I don’t really um… know much about them, but I can try?” 

The guy nodded and waited for Alexander to finish patching up Gabe. Eventually, Alexander stood, grabbed his kit, and waited for the guy to lead the way. 

“You got a name?” Alexander asked.

“For me or the horse?” the guy said, hands deep in his pockets.

Alexander rolled his eyes a little. “Either. Both.”

“Horse is Biz,” the guy grumbled. “I’m EJ.” 

“Biz. EJ. Okay. I’m Alexander. Or Kerfy. Or Kerf. Never Alex,” Alexander said as he saw the burnt remains of the barn. There were definitely animals still inside when it went. Alexander could smell it and– yeah there was definitely a lump in his throat. They didn’t deserve this. 

“The guy who did this. Cole. You know him?” EJ growled as they approached. 

Alexander nodded. “He’s dead. He shot Gabe and– he’s dead. There’s others but–”

EJ nodded once, sharp. “Good.”

EJ led him to a blanket behind the burnt barn where a young horse lay. If Alexander hadn’t literally seen more than one man’s brains blown out of his skull less than 24 hours before, if Alexander hadn’t done it once himself, he’d probably retch. As it was, Alexander had nothing left in his stomach to lose. But it was a grisly sight in front of him nonetheless. 

The horse was almost entirely covered in burns. It was barely moving. It wasn’t going to survive. Alexander didn’t have to know much about horses to know that.

“EJ, I–” he started, softly, unsure how to broach the topic.

“I know,” EJ whispered, defeated, reaching out as if wanting to touch Biz, but knowing it would hurt him more. “I know it’s– He’s not going to–” 

Alexander reached out and put his hand over EJ’s outstretched hand, squeezing gently. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. The man was clearly heartbroken and Alexander wasn’t sure what to do about it.

“I have some tranquilizers and stuff. Vet left them in case of an emergency, right after the rain. Too much and it’ll… He won’t suffer… but I don’t want–I don’t wanna get it wrong,” EJ finally said quietly. 

Alexander squeezed EJ’s hand again. “I can do that. Bring them to me. I can do that for you. He won’t suffer anymore, EJ.”

* * *

When it was done, Alexander and EJ walked back to the farmhouse and Alexander stopped him, just before they went inside. 

“Listen… they’ll be back. Cole’s dead, but that shit went really high up the food chain and if they know about you…” Kerf said quietly. “We have food. Supplies. Tons of camping gear. Our truck is out of gas so we’ll have to keep going on foot, but we’ve got maps and I think… I think we can make it. If we all stick together. Gabe can’t carry as much, he’s got two broken ribs, but he’ll heal. It’ll be slow moving for a bit though but like… we can hunt. We have guns but also like.. A few hunting bows and stuff. And you know farming well and—-”

EJ broke off Kerf’s rambling. “Kid,” he sighed. “I got nothing left here. I’ll do it.” 

Alexander hugged EJ. EJ seemed surprised for a moment, but eventually hugged him back. It was a surprisingly tight embrace.

And if Alexander felt EJ's shuddering breath and a little dampness on his shoulder, he didn't say a word.

* * *

Coming back into the house, they found that Mel had finished lunch. They ate quietly before EJ introduced himself to the group and Alexander took Gabe aside.

“So, you asked him to join us,” Gabe said evenly.

“I–” Alexander started. “You didn’t see him out there, okay? He was broken. He… He lost all of his animals, his food, because of–”

“That wasn’t us, Alexander,” Gabe said softly, putting his hand on Kerfy’s shoulder. 

Alexander shrugged. “Might’ve been able to stop them sooner,” he said quietly. “I didn’t even notice until you and Mel said something. I should have noticed.” 

Gabe pulled Alexander into a tight hug. “You’re a good kid,” Gabe said warmly and Alexander closed his eyes tighter, squeezed his arms around Gabe tighter, as tight as he could without aggravating the man’s ribs.

When he finally stepped out of the hug, there was a lump in Alexander’s throat. “I’m sorry about… I should have asked you first. But he knows farming and—-”

“Kerfy,” Gabe interrupted gently. “You did the right thing.”

* * *

EJ confirmed for them that nobody around had any gas for the humvee, so they emptied it out, figured out what they needed and what they could carry. They’d continue on foot, setting up camp whenever they could find shelter. Each of them had backpacks loaded heavy with food and supplies, but they knew that would dwindle as they went. Six people traveling on foot ate quite a bit. 

Whenever they stopped, EJ and Gabe taught them how to hunt with the bows they’d found. Alexander wasn’t very good at it. Mel was pretty decent, as was Barrie. Josty was a surprisingly excellent marksman, though he was the least subtle person Alexander knew and had no concept of the word ‘quiet’. 

They got a map out of Gabe’s pack, and a pencil from EJ, marking out a prospective route. It would take them close enough to more populated areas to check for supplies, but far enough that they could hunt and stay safe. If the people in power, if the people Gabe and Alexander worked for, were this bad, Alexander couldn’t imagine what the people who were actually struggling to survive could be capable of. 

But he looked around at their group. EJ and Gabe were bent down, heads together as they plotted out where to go next. Mel and Josty were butchering two rabbits they’d shot that morning. Tyson was behind them piping up with any Bugs Bunny or other related rabbit joke he could think of, just to make them giggle. Alexander knew he’d do anything for this group. While they had each other, while these people breathed, Alexander would have hope.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr at thepensieve and twitter at aesopsrachaels :)


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